Milo And Me…And Aragorn Makes Three

It has begun

It has already begun.

Okay, so yeah. Blog has had to take a backseat to things like “having found a job” and “wanting to stay employed” and “Gee, my house sure is dirty since I went back to work or my standard of living is just higher now”.

My apologies but things are probably going to be sporadic from here on out unless I develop a means of staying awake for twenty-seven hours a day. But anyways, onward to today’s blog. Milo, Me and LotR: Aragorn’s Quest.

First up we have Milo. But before I even get into why this is a bad idea, I feel like we should take a step back and look at the overall failure of the name “Natal”. Yes Microsoft, you have beaten Nintendo’s Wiimote and can now shuffle out your own brand of shovelware crap for consumers to shift through. You can also use it to exercise and blah, blah, blah. Which is pretty frickin’ sweet, I’ll give you that. And if for some reason, my readers have been living in a cave and missed the tech demo for this new technology, see below.

So again, pretty cool and one step closer to the promise of the PS9. But my beef is with calling it “Natal”. Did your marketing reps not take English in college? Or Biology for that matter? You do realize how that word is pronounced yes? If you wanted to call it “Natall” you either needed to to suck it up and put that extra “L” in there or shove a snazzy apostrophe mark over one of the letters or something. Because as it stand right now, when I think Microsoft, I think pre-term babies. And I seriously doubt that’s the image you wanted from your test groups. Just a thought.

But on the meat of this part of my post. MILO.

Holy shit Microsoft! WHY?! I mean, yeah it’s neat that he recognizes faces and movement and can draw a pretty picture and give it to you and then tell you what you drew and it’s all fun and games until he becomes self-aware and starts replicating and telling your toaster that maybe it doesn’t want to be a slave to the whims of toaster strudel cravings and before we know it, SkyNet is live, I, Robot is real and we’re all serving as batteries for the robot overlords. And I’ll have to blame you instead of Japan which is just. Plain. WRONG. So please, think of the children…also, I don’t want to remind the TV to do its homework. I have a hard enough time getting my own kids to do theirs. Although I can’t threaten to unplug them if they don’t…hmmm.

Speaking of kids (I know, a pretty weak segway), there have been rumblings on the internet. The kind of rumblings that speak of angry fanboys rising up as one to protest the rape of a beloved series. And what is the subject of their wrath? Lord of the Rings. EA has finally allowed their death grip on the franchise to expire and Warner Bros. was quick to snatch up the IP. And horror of horrors! They’re putting out a child friendly version of the game called Aragorn’s Quest. Pulling design elements from Mario and Zelda, the game is seriously lacking in blood and gore, which apparently is all fanboys care about. Oh, that and super-fantastic-uber-realistic face renderings. How DARE they make it cartoony!? Want to know what all the hub-bub is about? Here’s the trailer and handful of screenshots. Judge for yourself.

Shire In AutumnAragorn

Personally, I think the naysayers are just missing the times. Not every game coming out these days is aimed at the hardcore gamer and I think we’re having issues adjusting. Casual gamers are like the new baby and we’re all just jealous that that little squalling bundle of bones is getting all the attention when it can’t even GRENADE JUMP yet. But I think this is a great idea. My kids love magic and swords and all that jazz but blood and gore is a little too advanced for them at the ages of eight and four. And as a gamer parent, it’s a way for me to bond with them; to play along and explain the story without fear of emotional trauma or nightmares about Orks.

So with all the gripes, I hope Warner Bros. ignores the cacophony. With all the crap and total dregs of barrel being released for unsuspecting “new” gamers, a quality title would be a breath of fresh air.

Lord of the Rings: Aragorn’s Quest for the Lord of the Rings: Aragorn’s Quest for the Wii, PS2 and the DS is RP and slated for release in the Fall of 2009.

Odd Japanese Game Commercials

Today’s post was inspired by the good folks over at GamesRadar.com. They ran an article that answered the question, “Why did Resident Evil get a name change for the American release?” and while the answer is available, the real star of the article is the original Biohazard commercial released in Japan.

Somehow that upbeat pop music makes getting your jugular ripped out seem A-OK (insert thumbs up sign here). But it got me thinking, what other video game commercials are we missing out on? Surely the Japanese have others that are so bad they come out the other side as awesome.

Our first contender is Dr. Mario for the original GameBoy. Because nothing says “video games” like synchronized swimming in multi-colored rabbit costumes. While singing.

Next up, we’re reminded why we don’t fuck with Japanese business men. Oh, and buy Metal Gear Solid 3; it’ll give you the ability to sneak up on half naked chicks bathing in the river?

This next video just proves that no matter how awesome Earthbound is (which is infinity +2), watching live action children create a nuclear explosion with their powers brings into question the RPG staple of “only kids can save the world”.

I saved my favorite for last. Legend of Zelda: The Musical!!!1

For some unknown reason, now I want to watch the Thriller video. o_O

P.S. The Thriller music video would’ve made a far better Michael Jackson game choice than what was actually produced. What was SEGA thinking?! Perhaps this was a sign of what was to come. Sonic should have got out while he had the chance.

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Look Over There! It’s Bioshock 2!

Big Sister Doesn

Big Sister Doesn't Like Subtitles.

I know, I know. I didn’t post a damn thing yesterday. In my defense, the “Easter Bunny” somehow managed to forget that Easter was this Sunday and had to make a last minute dash to Wally World so my kids wouldn’t be disappointed.

By the way, those pre-made baskets might look fancy with their cheap plastic toys, but there is approximately two pieces of candy in them. Lame.

Then, my shiny toy came in the mail today. A mini-laptop/early birthday present from my husband who loves me. In fact, I stopped enjoying browsing the internet from the comfort of laying prone on the couch to bring you this half-assed post. From my adorable, me-sized netbook.

But anyway, to soothe your savage rage (imagined in my head) have some shiny Bioshock 2 gameplay footage.

I can’t tell you how excited I am that even though you are a Big Daddy your vision isn’t impaired. One of the shittiest things about the first Bioshock to me was the lack of peripheral vision once the helmet went on. I don’t care if it was realistic, it bothered the crap out of me.

I was a tad disappointed to not see more of a fight between the Big Daddy and Big Sister, especially after Game Informer built her up to be such a bad ass of badassery in their cover story last month. But I’ll just have to settle for her skipping and acrobatic-ing around like a spider on meth. For now.

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Team Fortress 2: Amusing Map Mods

So I’m browsing the internet this morning and Kotaku had an awesome link to Techblog.com and their Mario Kart themed TF:2 map. Which is pretty sweet. Either check it out at the link, or below.

But that got me thinking two things. One: I haven’t updated the blog today. Two: It’s Saturday, I’m lazy and hungry.  So I put on my thigh high yellow galoshes and dredged through the internet, risking life and limb (or at least sanity) to bring YOU a collection of cool TF:2 map mods.

Behold!

Ever wonder how Mario must have felt in the original Donkey Kong? What with barrels flying at his head and small fire demons jumping out of oil barrels to kill him? Wonder to no more, my friends.

Continuing the Nintendo theme, here we have a Bomberman map. Not for the claustrophobic, I assure you. The walls man, the walls are closing in on me!!

For those of you that need your World of Warcraft fix but your 3 vs. 3 team is taking a break to eat or clean the house or do homework, hop on this mod. Maybe you’ll actually win since you won’t be against a paladin, paladin, druid group.

And these are just the one I found entertaining or well done. The list goes on; albeit with a disproportionately Nintendo slant. There’s a Pokemon map and a Pac-Man map. Then there’s the pirate map, the “Prison Break” map, and a Halo map. Honestly I could keep ranting indefinately; typing in TF:2 custom maps into Youtube gives you a deluge of videos both awesome and crap.

So enjoy, generic internet

Tricksy Hobbitses

Doh!

Doh!

This isn’t terribly video game related (unless you count the inevitable movie tie-in game) but every since bumbling onto Nix’s site, I’ve been a regular at Beyond Hollywood. And when someone gets me on April Fool’s Day, especially after I did an ENTIRE POST about the calendar challenged this morning, I’ll admit it.

He got me. Him and those meddling hobbits!

No idea what I’m talking about? Here’s the link.

Now, in all fairness to myself, I read THIS ONE first. So my guard was down and I was all too willing to accept a second “leak”.

Anyone else out there in internetland have a “Doh!” moment this afternoon? Come on, I know I can’t be alone on this…right? >.>

Video Debuts From GDC 2009

Hey guys. It’s Sunday morning and I’m still only half functional. So here for your enjoyment are some debut trailers for games announced at GDC ’09 this past week.

First up is the latest addition to the Legend of Zelda family. Spirit Tracks seems to be retaining both the graphics and the play style from the first DS game, The Phantom Hourglass. So huzzah for all of us who enjoyed the style and better luck next time to those who thought it was too ‘cartoony’.

Next up we have the new Batman: Arkham Asylum trailer. The game is definitely taking a cue from the movie reboot. Darker and leaning heavily on stealth combat, it seems to be coming together nicely.

And here we have the latest buzz in the gaming industry. A video demo for the new OnLive system. Being touted as the console killer, OnLive will allow customers to play games off of their servers. This will basically  render your computer a TV screen so even if your system can’t handle Crysis, you’ll still be able to play it. Beta starts soon, so leg it on over to their website and sign up if you’re interested in what all the commotion is about.

And finally, for today, the official HD trailer for the highly anticipated God of War III on the PS3. Kratos is just as bad ass as ever and appears to be running at the same frenetic pace. Oh, and his arsenal is finally being given new weapons that can compete with the awesome sword action.

Now yes there were even more wicked videos at GDC ’09. The most glaringly obvious one missing from this list being Modern Warfare 2. I love the Modern Warfare games but everyone and their mother is already talking about it so I figured the point to be moot. If there are any others you feel I neglected to mention, please feel free to leave them in the comment section. 😀

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