Square Releases Spanking New Final Fantasy Trailer

ff-xiii-agito

Is there no gaming genre that developers WON’T shoe horn Hitler into? I mean, I know he’s the embodiment of evil but when he’s using swords and steampunk aircraft to destroy a replica of the Space Needle on top of a city behind the Great Wall of China…that’s a stretch. Oh wait, it’s the new Final Fantasy game for PSP. Now it all makes sense.

Originally slated to come out as an mobile application, somewhere along the way Square decided not to sell their dignity entirely and took a sharp right turn. The new look, for PSP, is right on par from what you expect from a Final Fantasy game. Take a look!

Sorry I couldn’t embed the video straight to the blog, but I can’t use Flash with my wordpress account and the video is so new that no one has stuck it up on YouTube yet. However, I did find some nice screenshots.


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Five Games That Take The Road Less Traveled

Having procured a DSi last night, I felt the need to purchase a new title to go with my system. There were many a fine title (and at least twice as much crap) but in the end I chose “Little Red Riding Hood: Zombie BBQ”.

How could I not? The title alone was awesome and I may get off my lazy ass to do a full review once I finish BBQ-ing all the zombies. But in the meantime, the game got me thinking. What else out there in video game land had an offbeat title and oddball plot?

Good God, there’s a ton! Let’s see…we’ll do five arbitrarily. Annnd, go!

Little Red Riding Hood: Zombie BBQ (DS)

Click here for official site.The premise here is that the world of fairy tales has been overrun by zombies and only you, an extremely busty anime Little Red, can save the world. Using a machine gun and flamethrower no less. Watch out Zombies, she’s got white hair! White hair equals badassness.

WTF: Work Time Fun( PSP)

What the Fuck?

What the Fuck?

Oh those crazy Japanese. They give us the coolest, most random stuff. The premise here, other than giving you another reason to say WTF to your friends and family, is to give you a collection of bizarre mini-games. You use these mini games to make money to buy more mini-games. And thus the circle of life continues. How crazy are the mini-games? Here’s a screenshot that should clear it up a bit.

Srsly, wtf WTF?

Srsly, wtf WTF?

Seaman (Sega Dreamcast)

Watch out for Swallows.

Watch out for Swallows.

Every time I write that, I giggle on the inside like I’m not the mother of two kids. Seaman, Seaman, Seaman. Okay I think I got it out of my system. The premise of this hilarious game on the doomed Dreamcast console was to raise a Seaman (snort), or fish with a human face, to adulthood. Basically, a glorified Tamagatchi pet. And it featured the voice of Leonard Nemoy. What more could you ask for?

Katamari Damacy (PS2)

Run cow! Save yourself.

Run, junior! Save yourself.

I’m still convinced that this game is merely an extended acid trip. Between the crazy Japanese pop music, the overly colorful enviorment and bloody Burger King King as your dad, this game might have wormed its way into the mainstream, but the idea of rolling up giant balls of objects (up to and including whole planets and systems) is  an out there concept in my book.

Custer’s Revenge (Atari 2600)

And I thought Seaman was bad...

And I thought Seaman was bad...

Ah, the good old days of gaming. When the ESRB was just a twinkle in a young Jack Thompson’s eye and quality control was a dirty word. Only at that time could this game be made. The concept is, obviously, Custer getting revenge on those gosh darn Indians (though how he’s doing this is a mystery? Zombie Custer? Ewww, that makes this next part even MORE wrong and I didn’t think that was possible.). He’s going to do this by…running naked across a field of falling arrows to rape a naked Native American woman tied to a cactus. Sadly, I did not make that up. Don’t believe me? I wouldn’t either, so here’s video evidence.

Okay, that’s enough for one day. Seriously I need eyebleach now. Or at least something soothing to look at…

Ahhhhhh, I feel much better. You?

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