Square Releases Spanking New Final Fantasy Trailer

ff-xiii-agito

Is there no gaming genre that developers WON’T shoe horn Hitler into? I mean, I know he’s the embodiment of evil but when he’s using swords and steampunk aircraft to destroy a replica of the Space Needle on top of a city behind the Great Wall of China…that’s a stretch. Oh wait, it’s the new Final Fantasy game for PSP. Now it all makes sense.

Originally slated to come out as an mobile application, somewhere along the way Square decided not to sell their dignity entirely and took a sharp right turn. The new look, for PSP, is right on par from what you expect from a Final Fantasy game. Take a look!

Sorry I couldn’t embed the video straight to the blog, but I can’t use Flash with my wordpress account and the video is so new that no one has stuck it up on YouTube yet. However, I did find some nice screenshots.


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Five Games That Take The Road Less Traveled

Having procured a DSi last night, I felt the need to purchase a new title to go with my system. There were many a fine title (and at least twice as much crap) but in the end I chose “Little Red Riding Hood: Zombie BBQ”.

How could I not? The title alone was awesome and I may get off my lazy ass to do a full review once I finish BBQ-ing all the zombies. But in the meantime, the game got me thinking. What else out there in video game land had an offbeat title and oddball plot?

Good God, there’s a ton! Let’s see…we’ll do five arbitrarily. Annnd, go!

Little Red Riding Hood: Zombie BBQ (DS)

Click here for official site.The premise here is that the world of fairy tales has been overrun by zombies and only you, an extremely busty anime Little Red, can save the world. Using a machine gun and flamethrower no less. Watch out Zombies, she’s got white hair! White hair equals badassness.

WTF: Work Time Fun( PSP)

What the Fuck?

What the Fuck?

Oh those crazy Japanese. They give us the coolest, most random stuff. The premise here, other than giving you another reason to say WTF to your friends and family, is to give you a collection of bizarre mini-games. You use these mini games to make money to buy more mini-games. And thus the circle of life continues. How crazy are the mini-games? Here’s a screenshot that should clear it up a bit.

Srsly, wtf WTF?

Srsly, wtf WTF?

Seaman (Sega Dreamcast)

Watch out for Swallows.

Watch out for Swallows.

Every time I write that, I giggle on the inside like I’m not the mother of two kids. Seaman, Seaman, Seaman. Okay I think I got it out of my system. The premise of this hilarious game on the doomed Dreamcast console was to raise a Seaman (snort), or fish with a human face, to adulthood. Basically, a glorified Tamagatchi pet. And it featured the voice of Leonard Nemoy. What more could you ask for?

Katamari Damacy (PS2)

Run cow! Save yourself.

Run, junior! Save yourself.

I’m still convinced that this game is merely an extended acid trip. Between the crazy Japanese pop music, the overly colorful enviorment and bloody Burger King King as your dad, this game might have wormed its way into the mainstream, but the idea of rolling up giant balls of objects (up to and including whole planets and systems) is  an out there concept in my book.

Custer’s Revenge (Atari 2600)

And I thought Seaman was bad...

And I thought Seaman was bad...

Ah, the good old days of gaming. When the ESRB was just a twinkle in a young Jack Thompson’s eye and quality control was a dirty word. Only at that time could this game be made. The concept is, obviously, Custer getting revenge on those gosh darn Indians (though how he’s doing this is a mystery? Zombie Custer? Ewww, that makes this next part even MORE wrong and I didn’t think that was possible.). He’s going to do this by…running naked across a field of falling arrows to rape a naked Native American woman tied to a cactus. Sadly, I did not make that up. Don’t believe me? I wouldn’t either, so here’s video evidence.

Okay, that’s enough for one day. Seriously I need eyebleach now. Or at least something soothing to look at…

Ahhhhhh, I feel much better. You?

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Jak and Daxter: 21st Century Captain Planet?

Obligatory platformer "lava level"

Obligatory platformer "lava level"

So yeah. I wish this was an April Fool’s Day joke. But no dice kids. This is the real deal.  That picture up there is from Sony’s newest game.  Jak and Daxter are back in a brand new adventure for PSP and Playstation 2. That’s right; they’re pre-emptively admitting to failure by not even putting the game on Playstation’s flagship system.

All right, maybe that was a tad harsh. As far as platformers go Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy was pretty cool. So cool in fact, it spawned two sequels, a spin-off racing game, and Daxter even got his own time in the spotlight on the PSP.

The original Jak and Daxter was an open world platformer in the vein of Super Mario 64 or Sly Cooper where the player was tasked with collecting items and saving the world in standard light-hearted fare. Jak II, on the other hand, went much darker (I assume in an attempt to “grow up” with its audience) and had more melee combat and an almost “Viva la Revolution!” and “Heroes Are Villains Too!” feel to it. Jak 3 continued this trend by having Jak outcast for helping the Underground (Viva la Revolution!…sorry) and him coming to terms with helping people that have turned their back on him.

Right. Now that we’re all up to relative speed, back to the topic at hand. Now, all of the Jak games have utilized “Eco” in some way; sometime it’s Dark or Light or Green, Yellow, Blue, etc.  But it was used as a gameplay element ONLY. For health or abilities or a plot device. I have no problem with that. But Sony and developer High Impact Games seemed be taking advantage of the Environmental Awareness Renaissance to plug their next game. Which is what I have a problem with. According to the press release (Bits in bold are for emphasis):

Hero Jak and his mischievous sidekick Daxter are back together… and for the first time-ever they’ve joined forces on PSP™ (PlayStation®Portable). Get set for the latest addition to the smash-hit Jak and Daxter™ series, Jak and Daxter™: The Lost Frontier from Sony Computer Entertainment Europe. Prepare for non-stop action and adventure as the duo travel across mysterious lands and take to the sky on a mission to save their planet from destruction. Take this incredible adventure with you anywhere on your PSP™, or play it at home with PlayStation®2– both out this autumn for PAL territories.

Picking up from where the original Jak and Daxter trilogy left off, Jak and furry friend Daxter team up with their friend Kiera on her quest to become a Sage and save their world from the threat of darkness. As the environment of their planet slowly dies, our two worldly heroes embark on a mission to protect their world from the threat of“dark eco”.

Beginning on foot, you’ll run and jump across undiscovered lands, before taking flight in one of five different aircrafts. With cheeky Daxter and our serious Hero Jak together on the adventure, fun and laugher is never far away. Blast airborne enemies and battle sky pirates with your powerful Gunstaff– a brand-new weapon that can transform into other new weapons.

The latest installment takes players to the long awaited“Lost Frontier” reached by the much-loved Jak and Daxter. Get set for a sky-high, laugh out loud and colourful new adventure with Jak and Daxter: The Lost Frontier. The future of their planet is in your hands with PSP – or save the day at home with PlayStation 2.

Oh, and from the Playstation US website:

…they must battle their way past air pirates and sinister creatures in their quest to find a cure for the world’s eco shortage.

Captain Planet, he's a hero...wait. Wrong genre.

Captain Planet, he's a hero...wait. Wrong genre.

Maybe I’m too jaded? Or cynical? Maybe this isn’t a blatant cash in on a pop culture trend. After all, this game must have been in development for years. But the timing does seem mighty handy. Even if it wasn’t Sony’s original intent, I’m sure their marketing department will slant this in a way to add to their 6 million units of Jak and Daxter games sold.

Comments from the peanut gallery?

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