Is this thing on?

Well hello there…giant empty vacuum of Internet space. That’s right. I know no one is out there. Technically there are millions of you out there. Your just not in here out there. Or something to that effect. So what do I want to say to myself? Or as I will pretend, my dozens of adoring invisible friends.

I wanted to call this thing Gamer Mom or Nerd Mom or Non-Zombie Mom but then decided to be more vague. I am a mom, but I am not a “mom” mom. I don’t bake. I don’t sew. I certainly don’t make sock puppets with my children on a rainy day. That’s for women who had children because they decided life among adults was passe. I had children because I like sex, but I’m not too bright and lo and behold the Gods of Unwanted Pregnancy found me. Twice even! Don’t get me wrong I love my children and there will be many a witty anecdote about whatever insanity they’ve dreamed up but they aren’t my whole world. Shocking and bad parenting, yes I know.

Let me introduce you to them. First we have my son. He is an almost eight year old Star Wars encyclopedia..I’m sorry. I meant boy. He likes Star Wars, Star Wars figurines, Lego Star Wars, Star Wars posters, and Star Wars. He will talk to you about it and if you tell him you don’t care, he will talk to himself about it. It’s best to make noises that sound like you’re listening and just move on with what you were doing. Trust me, he will follow you. Oh, and Halo. Yes, my almost eight year old plays Halo. With the sound off. If you can’t hear the cussing it’s not any worse than any other game you play offline. The aliens bleed purple for God’s sake. Besides, we cuss around the kids all the time. They aren’t “bad words” they are grown-up words…that they can use as soon as they hit puberty. Shock and dismay, I know.

Then there is my daughter, the four year old princess. This was not my intent, nor my husband;s. But do you have any idea how hard it is to stockpile for a baby girl without buying her pink clothes? Impossible unless you want people to think she’s boy until she’s three. And by then, the damage was done. She loves Disney princess, Tinkerbell and My Little Pony. We had a brief run in with Bratz, but I think they dress like whores so I put a stop to it with Barbie. Because at least she has a job. What world do we live in when I think Barbie is a good role model for my child? But never fear, she also likes Star Wars, because there is a princess in it! And this princess has a gun and suffocates giant slugs and doesn’t always need to be rescued. So when I see her playing with her baby dolls, or cooking in her Disney kitchen with one of her brother’s Nerf guns within arm’s reach, I heartily approve. Save your damn self, the prince isn’t coming.

Or is he? Mine did. At least, my version of a prince. One that plays Diablo II with me until four in the morning, signs up for the same MMO’s I’m in and watches awesome action movies with the volume turned up loud. He’s also not so shabby in the sack and is quite comfortable to accompany me to the adult store. Although I suppose it’s more odd for -me- to be comfortable but I’ve never been normal. My husband’s name is Jereme and he is the shit. Though I will most likely not mention him as much since ‘blogging’ and ‘facebook’ are not things he thinks are worth time that is better spent killing zombies. Can’t say I blame him. When the zombie hordes invade, I doubt my fast typing skills will run them off.

And that leaves me. My name is Donna. Hi there invisible fans! You’ll learn plenty about me over the course of sporadically remembering this blog exists. I like video games, of the computer and console variety. I like to read particularly fantasy, sci-fi and historical fiction. However, I’m not opposed to a good non-fiction read. You just have to sneak it under my nose. I like to write, duh. I also enjoy children’s cartoons though I’m not sure at this point if it’s real like or just an automatic defense so my brain doesn’t melt out of my ears. I’m sure there is more but bloody hell this post is long already. Perhaps another time.