What the “Flock!” Capcom?

Well, Flock me!

Well, Flock me!

Have you heard about “Flock!” ?  If yes, please skip down to where Capcom deceived me in my stupor this morning. If no, please check out the following explanation and video.

Flock is your basic herding game. I know, the herding animals genre is so overdone, but stay with me. In Flock, you play from a third-person top down view. As aliens, the clearest way to understand life on this planet is to use your spaceship (a la 1950’s B-movie fame) to rack up points by scaring the crap out of domesticated livestock and get them onto the mothership. Only through this process can you truly grasp the horrors of rural Earth living.

However, the tricksy humans have put up “fences” and “obstacles” to keep their herds right where they should be; grazing on hormone injected grass and getting obscenely obese. Mmmm, genetically engineered cows. So you must use the physics based gameplay ( ie: your laser beam PEW PEW) to pick up objects and crash through the obstacles. And of course, you have a time limit. The mothership doesn’t pay overtime bitches; punch out is at 5pm SHARP!

So call me girly or a heretic or whatnot (please save your pitch forks until the end of the article) but based on these gameplay trailers…

AND

…I was as estatic as possible at 8 am to see this giant headline this morning.

CAPCOM’S FLOCK! AVAILABLE TO DOWNLOAD ACROSS ALL PLATFORMS

Huzzah! I thought and rushed to my 360 to download the game. Twenty minutes and no game later, I’m thinking “WTF Xbox?” Did they crash the game? Forget to put it up? Hate me and don’t want me to enjoy aliens herding animals? No. For once, Xbox is not to blame. It was Capcom. The bloody liars. In their defense, maybe I should have actually, you know, READ the whole press release, which said:

…today launched their newest digital download, FLOCK!. The Windows PC version launches today April 7, the Xbox LIVE® Arcade version for the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft launches tomorrow, April 8, and the PlayStation®Network version launches on Thursday, April 9.

Damn you! Apparently, Capcom is playing favorites and Xbox is the middle child. But then, at the bottom OF THE SAME PRESS RELEASE it says:

Rated E for Everyone, FLOCK! is now available to download for Xbox LIVE Arcade for Xbox 360, PlayStation®Network and Windows PC.

But what else should I expect from the same company that cockteases Resident Evil fans about run-and-shoot gameplay only to pull the rug out from under them at the last moment?

So now here I am, all ready to herd some sheep and I have to wait another damn twelve-plus hours?! In this day and age of instant gratification, that’s like…like…twelve weeks!

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One Response

  1. […] this week is just FULL of disappointing press releases. It might be marketing representative season soon if this crap keeps […]

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